In A Little While

A storm just came through where I live. We have no power, but everyone is safe. My brother’s house was severely damaged along with his car, smashed by a tree. He is safe. As I am reading my Bible in the dark, just the dim sunlight coming through my windows. I am taking back to how it must have been when it was written. How I had to struggle to read the words. How much more I had to want to read in order to just comprehend the verses. I am reading about waiting, a hard topic right. Psalm 37:7 says, “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret.” Waiting makes me anxious and impatient because it seems like God isn't doing anything. I want to know why I can't have it then. We are in an instapot, AI generation where everything is delivered to us, covenant right. God is not convenient, He is everlasting. You know the saying: if you want it to last you have to work on it. Doesn't just happen overnight. God’s blessings are the same way. Isaiah 30:18: "Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore He exalts Himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for Him"

My friend decided to start a Bible Study, I was preparing her with all the outlines, and formality paperwork that she would need. I like to be prepared, and I wanted what was best for her. I knew that if I was unprepared, I would feel embarrassed and I didn't want that for her. She didn’t need it, no one showed up. It was just her and I waiting in the classroom. She worked so hard to prepare the room, decorated it, set out coffee. I was hurt for her; I know her heart is in the right place, and I know she truly felt a desire to disciple women. I have tried to start Bible Studies before, one online and the other in person. Both of mine were a failure to be able to grow, but I had learned so much in the absence of people. The online Bible Study I learned that it is the fellowship and feedback that is important. I also learned that I hate to video myself. The other Bible Study I tried to start no one showed, and as I sat in a room alone, I did the thing. I decided that nothing was going to stop me, not even if I was alone. I learned that God has better plans for me. It hurt in the moment, but it showed me how determined I really was to share God's word. I learned that even though I do what to change the hearts of other people, the true lesson is what God gives, not what I can teach. God had other plans for that morning for my friend and I, as we sat in the church just the two of us, we talked about how God uses your bad for good. I reminisce on my previous failures of trying to do exactly what she was trying to do. We talked about how even though things don't go the way we plan; it always goes the way God plans. He is never surprised or shocked by any situation. She was so relieved, still happy, still saying she can’t wait to see what God is going to do.

 With my kids, I am always looking for a way to teach them, correct them, not so much punish but to help them grow. I believe God is the same way with us. I was praying as we were talking, you will find out I do that a lot.  I am asking God what is the lesson she has to learn, why did you do this to her? I am hurt for her. Haggai 2: 15-19 tells us about how the Jews were reminded of the past and to take note of where they were in that moment of their life. The same way with my friend and I. I know I have a tendency to think that if it doesn’t work out right then, well then, I must have let God down, it must not have been what was supposed to happen. I know God never lets me down, but I give up. I would quit right then, thinking I was the problem. I was a failure.

 Ephesians 2:10 explains that It's not the result of anything I had done, so that there is no bragging about it.  God has made me what/how I am. He has created me in Christ Jesus to live a life filled with good works that he can prepare me. God created me to be what He created me to be. Seems simple, but think about it, He never gives up, calls it quits or gets discouraged.

 I am reminded at this moment that just as I try to teach my kids a lesson. He is teaching me, with love. God wants what is best for us, so why would he purposely disappoint us. He wouldn’t! The feeling I was feeling, disappointment, failure, let down, confused they are all from Satan. If we give up, where is our unshakeable faith? Hebrews 10:23 "So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgment of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word".

. Did I look for Hope, look to God for his direction? Time after time I have started many things I felt like God was calling me to do. They would not go the way I thought it should, so I quit. I would move on, it’s not until now as I am writing this to you, that I realize that it's not a lesson of what I did wrong, as to why God didn’t bless what I was doing. It is not that I had failed at all, it was about a lesson that I needed to learn. This was a lesson of motivation, of Hope or growing in Faith. Jennifer Rothchild said this, when a blessing takes a long time to show up, it's because it gives us time to grow up. Let that sink in. John 13:7 says, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand" God is always in control. God has a reason for even the smallest detail in your life. A fly gets trapped in your car, He planned it. It is not us to figure out why, but to seek God in the moments we feel lesser and learn the lesson He has for us. 

Matthew 7:24: Jesus' words are a foundation of knowledge, and the closer we are to Jesus, the more wisdom and knowledge of God we will gain. 

James 1:2–4: God uses trials to teach us valuable lessons. 

Hebrews 12:11: Painful discipline can lead to a peaceful harvest of righteousness. 

Proverbs 21:11: Senseless people learn lessons the hard way, but the wise are teachable. 

2 Timothy 3:16–17: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.

Dear God,

I feel like I am always waiting to know what you have in store for me. I know that you have the best for me and always have. I pray that I have learned the lesson of motivation and that your will takes time. You take time so that we can grow in you and mature to who you created us to be. I pray for unwavering Hope and that I can always look forward to what you have promised me. Your word tells us many times that you are faithful. That your promises will come, not lingering, not delayed but right on time. I pray I can hold on to your promises but be able to wait with joy. I thank you for the safety of my family in this storm and those around me. I thank you for creating this hurricane just for the fact that people can take this time with no power, no internet, no distractions but be pulled back to you, that it will draw them closer to you as it has me. God, I praise you in this storm, literally, I know that whatever you have planned for me is in my best interest, but not only that but way better than what I could ever do on my own. I pray you will continue to be the light in the darkness. I pray that I can hold on to your promises; to be strong and to not give up, you command us to keep trying even when we don’t get that instant reward. You promise us that our work will be rewarded, and I pray that if I never see the big picture or the efforts of my work, that I am reminded it is nothing compared to what Jesus did on that cross. That no matter what I am doing to give you the glory. That in my weakness I am made strong. That I can rely on you no matter what my emotions are telling me or the situation around me. I thank you for giving me my life, this burning desire I have to share your word, I thank you for molding me to be who you created me to be. I pray I can always remember your will is far greater

than mine, I pray that when I am feeling low that I will always look to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Hannah Austin 9/27/24 @ 7:20 pm     Hurricane Helene