Workout into Worship

I first dived into the world of working out when my mom took me to a curves class. I was about 13, and I absolutely loved the camaraderie and the infectious encouragement the women shared, cheering each other on! At the time, I didn't fully grasp it; I just felt compelled to go, driven by my desire to be strong. I've always had this burning ambition to be powerful. I wanted to be the best, the hero of my own story! Sure, like most little girls, I adored princesses, but I also wanted to be Mulan, showing everyone the true strength of women! Even though I was just 90 lbs. soaking wet growing up, I can honestly say that most of this was a dream I held onto tightly.

Back in high school, I was part of ROTC and got the chance to attend a student leadership school over the summer. It was basically like a mini basic training for the top cadets. I absolutely loved the physical training—showing off by running the fastest, doing the most push-ups, or holding a plank longer than anyone else. Those moments when I outperformed everyone else were the best. My proudest achievement was running a mile in just 5 minutes flat. I was so stoked to be the best. 

As I moved into adulthood, I carried around this mindset that I was the best wherever I went. I thought I was tough, with a strong attitude that didn't care about anyone's opinions. The truth was it was all an act. I started working out to let go of all the anger I had inside. The more upset I got, the stronger I felt. I'd channel that pain and anger with hard rock music, which was my first motivation for hitting the gym. I was the girl in the back, pushing myself so hard that people probably thought I enjoyed the pain. Honestly, at one point, that was true because I was in control of the pain. Still, I wasn't treating my body like a temple; I was abusing it. I was young and didn't care because I thought I could outdo anyone. My pride was really running the show, not me.

A few years later, I became a mom and decided to start going to the gym again. I was determined to get my "body back" after gaining around 60 lbs. during pregnancy. I wasn't feeling like myself because I didn't like what I saw in the mirror anymore. I had always been slim, and this was the first time I had any extra weight. I would work out to hard rock like before, but my motivation was all wrong because I was focused on vanity.

Before I knew it, I had a vibrant group of women eagerly following me around the gym! We would chat about everything under the sun—gossip, men, and sex. I absolutely loved having them around, especially since I was pushing my body to its peak performance. I was working out so intensely that I would sometimes be too sore to move! I pushed myself to the limit, often crying at night from the sheer intensity of the workouts. I thrived on supplements and energy drinks. At that point, I had sculpted my body to be slim and well-defined, complete with a six-pack! I was thrilled with the results of my hard work. However, the pain I endured to achieve this was taking a toll on my body, and I realized it wasn't worth the damage. My methods weren't the safest, but they got me the results I craved. Eventually, I quit the gym when all my friends did, as working out without their enthusiastic support felt dull. I convinced myself that I was too exhausted to exercise with a young child, and the excuses just kept coming. I had achieved the body I wanted and maintained it through strict dieting, so the gym lost its appeal.

I didn't work out for a while, probably took a break for about three years. I checked out a few small gyms but just couldn't find the right motivation. My weight kept fluctuating, and I couldn't keep a solid group of friends to go with me consistently, so it just wasn't a priority. I had other things on my plate. I discovered a love for food and would eat so much that my stomach would feel stuffed. I used to think my friends ate like birds, but I was dealing with some emotional baggage. I ended up finding comfort in what I ate. Like I said, I've never been huge, so the weight wasn't super noticeable to everyone else, just to me. 

I hit the gym again after my second kid was born, because honestly, every stretch mark on my stomach kept reminding me of how I used to look. Around that time, I had also recently committed myself to the Lord. I went in to check out starting a workout class for a ministry I was trying to kick off. This journey led me to a membership that eventually blossomed into a job opportunity! Although the job only lasted a year, I started as the janitor, cleaning the gym to earn my CPT, and soon found myself managing the entire gym! It was incredible how many doors God opened for me there—it was truly a blessing! I gained countless life lessons and genuinely felt I was making a difference. I was eager to share the joy of knowing God with everyone I met. I lived to boost self-esteem and motivate others. On the flip side, I also wanted to be the best and quickly became money driven. I never realized my love for money until I started earning a lot of it. I made more in a week there than I ever had before! The job consumed all my time, to the point where I worked at the gym all day and didn't even have time to exercise myself. I was so caught up in doing a good thing that it led me down a path where the gym became my idol. But God rescued me from that situation. Even though I initially resisted, through prayer and wise counsel, I decided to quit. It was a tough decision, but I put my trust in God.

After I quit, I got really down. I totally stopped working out. I couldn't figure out why God would open all those doors just for me to walk away. I was hurt and wanted nothing to do with working out or the gym scene. I threw myself into the Bible and learning about God. I started writing more, and that's how the blog came about. I tried to focus on things that made me happy, but my body was still dragging me down. My knees would ache—not like when I used to push myself too hard—but the pain started keeping me up at night. I was scared to step foot in another gym. It was a slippery slope of fear leading to depression. I'd eat a whole pack of Oreos with milk in one sitting. I'd munch on chips like I needed them to survive. My health was the worst it had ever been, or close to it. I was once again abusing my body, just in a different way. 

I was pumped to dive back into the gym scene! Being active was always my thing, so I decided to conquer my fears and just go for it. No more delays! I headed to a local gym, ready to snag a membership. The woman at the front desk was super chatty, and as we talked, I shared how I used to work at a gym and just needed a place to work out—no extra frills required. Our chat unexpectedly turned into a job interview a few days later! It wasn't a position I would have pursued on my own, but I was ready to let God take the lead for once. Spoiler alert: I didn't get the job. But guess what? I still went back and signed up for that membership! 

I found myself starting over, but this time I knew how to exercise and what worked and what didn't. I just needed to get my mind into wanting to work out. I used to listen to Christian music while exercising, but it didn't really click for me. One day, I sat outside the gym and prayed. I asked God to take away my pride, ego, anger, and past experiences, and let my workouts be for His glory. I wanted to give up control of my body, just like I had recently given my time and knowledge to fully knowing Him.

I was in the middle of my usual workout when a beloved friend sent me an inspiring video of Christian women discussing how to embrace confidence in who God made them to be. As I continued exercising, I listened to this message, and it struck me in an incredible way! My mind was soaking in the gospel while I pushed my body physically. For the first time, my workout transformed into a form of worship! I began going to the gym with podcasts playing, focusing on family and various topics. I prayed during my warmup, between sets, and dedicated my entire workout to God. I stopped exercising for myself and pushing to extreme limits. I stopped worrying about others around me and tuned into what God was communicating to me at that moment. I became more attuned to my body, so engrossed in the podcasts that I would literally laugh out loud, drawing curious looks from others. I started listening to sermons, nodding or agreeing out loud, and people would stare. But I just smiled because I felt more joy in my workouts than ever before! I would pause to bow my head in prayer at the gym. The gym transformed from just a workout space into a sanctuary of worship. I dedicated an hour to working out, praising God for the ability to move my body. There is immense peace in surrendering to God. The Bible encourages us to do everything for the glory of God. I joyfully surrendered my work out to Him!

While it may not be explicitly stated in the Bible to be active, it's clear that God desires us to treat our bodies as temples. I've always believed that anything we want to endure requires proper care. We are inherently designed for activity and work. I urge you to transform your workout into an act of worship, surrendering your body to God. This includes being mindful of what you consume. When we relinquish control, the motivation and joy that follow are unparalleled. My goals might not be achieved as swiftly as possible, and I may not regain a six-pack, but with my heart focused on glorifying God, I am confident I cannot fail. I trust that He will transform what was once used for harm into something good. Guided by faith, I am continually renewed. I am committed to renewing my mind, body, and soul every day. God provides us with gifts, talents, and hobbies to honor Him. The question is: Will you surrender them to Him?